Authenticity and the Conscious
Path for Women Leaders

Our mothers told us to be true to ourselves, that character is built on authenticity. But for many women, the demands of work, family, friends, and even church can make the true self seem like a distant relative. Women leaders in particular, from all walks of life, while admired and followed by others, often inwardly debate if they are leading an organization or a cause because they want to or because it is where they wound up.

Beware. Inner broodings always surface, sometimes in unpleasant and unhealthy ways. Living authentically is important to personal and professional fulfillment, peace of mind, and in a woman’s effectiveness as a leader.

By first defining a conscious path for their lives, women leaders have a much better chance of achieving authenticity. Awareness is key. Once you are aware of how you influence people or affect others, you have a choice about how you communicate what you want and what is important to you.

The authentic person comes to view authenticity as full ownership of who she is.
She gives herself permission to fully participate in any
interaction or work that she values.

This certainly can be more challenging for female executives. Most of these women have conformed to some degree with their corporate environment, aligning themselves with the rhythm of the organization to produce a certain outcome, usually related to bottom line profits, personal advancement, or their job security. Women executives in particular often have delayed fulfilling dreams of family because for them to advance, they can’t schedule time to date and mate. Those who do have families, especially with school-age children, ask themselves at some point, usually around their 40th or 50th birthdays, if the paths they have taken are still meaningful. Authentic thinking for them usually results in their choosing where they will live and the quality of life they will accept. These choices may diverge from high paying jobs and career advancement.

A woman executive will know, however, that something’s got to give if she leaves a work situation with a “yuck in her gut” feeling or wishing that she had said what she really meant, or if she is spending time suffering over some communication that is incomplete. These things are her clue that she has settled for something less than what she deserves. She has sacrificed the unique contribution that only she can make to the world around her. And the truth is that people trust authenticity. They don’t necessarily trust “nice.”

The symptoms I see most frequently of a falsely-lived life are whining, complaining, and expressions of victimization. I ask executives, “When did you communicate your requests, desires, intentions, truth, or boundaries? Is your dissatisfaction the result of a request that you haven’t made, an agreement that you haven’t managed?” This notion of authenticity is about what’s true and right for the individual. But one thing that is true for all - once leaders move in an authentic direction, they can never go back to the way things used to be.

Here’s an example of authentic success. As part of her growth and development plan, one female executive that I coached was moved into an interim role as a VP in her company. In the job, she was in the awkward position of managing a group of former peers.

Through our coaching discussions on authenticity, the new VP was able to have “tough love" conversations with her colleagues, and she gained an even greater level of respect and intimacy with her team as a result. She learned to get over the need to be liked and took the risk to be great. At the end of the interim period, she was moved to another division in a senior leadership role. She then promoted some of the key players on the team that she had left behind and is still close to all of those who supported her to grow in this capacity. She is finding a new center and peace in her life in her ability to naturally attract what she wants in positions and relationships, and without so much effort!

Authenticity also creates one’s legacy. Touching others with our work requires that we become intentional every day of our lives. A legacy of authenticity begins when we identify and honor our own values. Those values, proudly and honestly lived moment to moment, bring personal contentment, professional satisfaction, and literally, a better world.