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Beating
Holiday Stress
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- Have you ever
thought how similar women are to Santa Claus?
We have a huge bag of things to be done, we try our best
to make others happy, and we race across the globe at
light speed.
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- Women everywhere
(aka “Santa’s elves”)
hear messages from retailers as early as Halloween, “You’re
already behind!” Is it any wonder we enter the holidays
feeling stressed? How are we supposed to juggle the demands
on our time, money, family and social commitments?
- Stress can be defined
as "a combination of demands placed on a
person's money,
time, emotions, and energy and their body's response to
those demands." Does that sum up your experience
at this time of year? How can we manage stress as we try
to achieve the ideal images bombarding us from the media
and store shelves everywhere? I propose that women
keep five things in mind during the holiday season.
- Explore your expectations.
Most people try to do too much because they want to recreate
the magical Christmas images that surround them. Here
are some truths: Norman Rockwell’s loveable
characters are one dimensional dots of paint.
Actors are paid a lot of money to portray family members
that only smile glowingly at one another, and always cook
the perfect holiday meal. Photographers don’t knock
on doors and ask people to leave so they can document
their home for the December issue of House Beautiful.
Interior decorators and set designers create the
images we see in magazines.
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- Develop realistic
expectations about what you can accomplish (regardless
of the way a television mother or your own mother did
things), so you’ll be able to embrace your
own magical family experiences.
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 Prioritize
holiday activities. It could be stressful to juggle every
invitation, bake every cookie recipe that looks good,
and buy everything that your children ask for. Prioritizing
speaks to quality over quantity. Spend time with
your family early this month and list all of your holiday
traditions and current invitations. Ask them what means
the most in terms of baking, shopping, and parties. Doing
a few things you have time for and truly enjoy is more
satisfying than racing through a dozen activities that
leave you breathless and frustrated. Focus on
what the true meaning of the holiday is for you.-
- Manage your time
wisely. During this season, your time is as important
as your finances. Plan ahead; you know
from past experience how much time it takes to celebrate
long held traditions. Keep a specific holiday “to
do” list; you’ll celebrate the fact that you
get to put it away in January! Could you address holiday
cards while you wait for your daughter at dance lessons?
Do you have time in the evening to mix a batch
of cookie dough and freeze it?
 Check
your list twice, and delegate. Look back over your traditions
and “to do” lists, and ask, “Who
could help me with these tasks?” Could
your six year old put stamps on your holiday card envelopes?
Would your kids enjoy breaking eggs and measuring flour
for cookie dough? -
- Time for
yourself. Elves and angels deserve time to relax.
Counter the holiday pressures by giving yourself some
time for rest and renewal each day. This is self care.
Your family will be happier with a relaxed mother that
gives time and attention joyfully instead of a cranky
robot grinding through the holidays. Remember,
this is your holiday too. It’s important to allow
yourself the freedom to receive as abundantly as you give
to others.
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- I hope this holiday
season finds you and your family surrounded with peace
and love.
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Jennifer
Snyder is a personal coach and workshop leader for women. She is the author
of a self-discovery workbook, The Time of Your Life: A Creative Sourcebook
for Women. The Sourcebook can be ordered at www.timeofyourlifeafterdivorce.com
