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| Susan
Maravetz |
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‘Tis
the Season of Obligation,
Expectation and Exhaustion……
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- It began for me
in October this year. As the first Christmas display
went up at a nearby shopping center, my anxiety
level began to skyrocket. I was behind again!
I had made some effort at the beginning of the fall
to purchase gifts. But then, high on pride of
accomplishment, I had dropped off. Now, I realized that
warm day in October, I was not going to finish
in time for Christmas. Realistically, I know
that is false, but in the sense of commercial pressure,
I was responding appropriately.
That incident was
not enough to take me over the edge, but
it was a good start. The phone calls to
establish my holiday availability began
in early November. I was being asked to commit to a vacation
plan well before I was ready to think about such
things. I had to decide my holiday schedule six weeks ahead!
For a newly minted Type C, I realized this
was extremely stressful.
Thanksgiving
Day arrived, and America feasted on turkey
and stuffing to kick off the holiday celebrations.
I, however, had opted out of the familial celebrations
this year. I haven’t missed a Thanksgiving
with my parents and siblings in 15 years.
When I broke the news to my mother, I felt that same intense
guilt that holiday decorations in October stimulate.
I began negotiations by offering up extra Christmas holiday
time. And in that moment, I had solved my December
scheduling dilemma.
I have shared
all this to demonstrate how this time of year is
fraught with the landmines of obligation,
expectation and exhaustion. As my Reiki therapist
and friend, Jean Savage, described, “Every
other animal and plant life goes dormant during this time
of year, except humans. We have to find ways to compensate
for this unnatural approach.” I have found
the answer to be a concentrated focus on self-renewal.
Step one in my self-renewal
process is finding my inner hermit.
As the invitations fly in, my wardrobe options
and energy level shrink in direct proportion. Choosing a
night to “just say no” is my
solution to this dilemma. I actually look
forward to sitting on the couch, feet soaking in my whirlpool
and a stash of unread books beckoning me.
I know that there will be more party opportunities
arriving in the mail tomorrow and my holiday wardrobe
won’t be overexposed by the end of the season.
 One
for you, one for me! Self-gifting is another way
I enjoy this season. Shopping, baking and decorating
are hard work, so I reward myself with special
treats; a new lipstick, a fabulous purse
or time out for a massage. Anything to
keep my sanity from the din of Christmas carols continuously
being piped into my ears.
When I put my Christmas
tree up this weekend, I had to rearrange furniture
to fit it in. I take this approach in regard to my workout
routine as well.
Sure, I am glad to add the holiday festivities,
but my Pilates, yoga and dog walks are going to have to
fit in somewhere if I am still going to fit into that fabulous
holiday outfit on New Year’s Eve. In fact,
because I know I am going to break a few rules this month,
I committed to adding a few new healthful habits.
I am down to one small cup of “real” coffee
a day and I’ve upped my water intake to ensure I don’t
get dehydrated in the busyness of the season.
My pet peeve
of the season is the added pressure to rattle off my New
Year’s resolutions on a moments notice. I
no longer believe in this annual ritual; instead I build
my goals monthly and establish objectives
weekly, rattling them off to my life coach
rather than a fellow partygoer. And even during this crazy
time of year, I find I am staying focused on some “Big
Stuff” that needs to be done before the ball
drops in Times Square. Perhaps I should add “finish
Christmas shopping” to the list this week.
On a lighter side,
I truly love this time of year. Twinkle lights
have sprouted on neighborhood porches and trees.
Santa has made an appearance and the pile of wrapped gifts
under my tree shimmer with love and accomplishment.
Each holiday season brings a reawakening of my beginner’s
mind, as the child inside recalls a magically
brisk night on Christmas Eve when I was
eight. I still hold amazement for a snow-filled Christmas
morning when I was twelve and I giggle aloud when I recall
disco bowling with my brothers on Christmas night
when I was twenty-eight. That is my best secret
to self-renewal and self-care.
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Susan
Maravetz