I love watching the faces of workshop participants as we discuss a segment entitled “No is a Complete Sentence”. In the course of this discussion they look amazed, astonished, and suddenly relaxed. Many women have never been told that they can choose to make their own needs a priority, and are allowed to respectfully refuse another’s request. While it is not uncommon for participants to appear apprehensive about saying “no” for the first time, one can see the excitement and empowerment calming their souls.

That module seems to be a favorite and I’ve had the opportunity at least twenty-five times in the past year to talk with women about the power of saying “no”. Only recently did I begin to examine the ultimate power of saying “yes”.

We’re not talking about the demure, polite (with eyes cast slightly downward) response of “yes, please” or “yes, and thank you so very much for that tiny morsel”. We’re talking about a resounding shout-it-from-the-mountaintops “YES”, full of power and conviction to bring exactly what you desire into your life. Here is an example of what I’m talking about.

For over twenty years, one of my biggest goals was to be in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. While this goal may be called simple and crazy, it was my personal dream. Back in early 1980s, I called Macy’s and modestly asked, “May I please be in your parade?” Their response was “No, you must be a Macy’s employee.” Upon being told “no” one time, I decided I wasn’t worthy of asking again, and returned to a cowering position in my corner of the world. Over the next several Thanksgivings, I traveled to New York to watch the parade with my children, but I knew that my place was always on the curb.

A few years later, I met someone who I thought had the power I to get me into the parade. I figured I wasn’t worthy on my own accord, but here’s someone else who might be. I called Macy’s, explained the connection, and was told “no” once more. For nearly two more decades, Thanksgiving Day was spent watching the parade from a curb on Central Park West or with great yearning on television. Not only were tears of longing apparent, but they were accompanied by a growing resentment at the world for being “so unfair”.

Following last year’s parade, I mustered up my courage once more and called Macy’s. “May I be in your parade,” I asked. “No, you must be a Macy’s employee,” the secretary responded. “Can you tell me where the closest Macy’s to Durham, North Carolina might be located,” I queried. “That would be in Washington, DC,” she replied. “Not an easy commute,” I thought while resignedly saying, “thank you” and hanging up.

Suddenly, I was struck by my greatest “a-ha” moment thus far; that earth shattering shift in one’s power and perception. “Wait a minute,” I thought. “My life’s work is to empower women, to support them in accomplishing what is in their heart to do. Would I want a client to hear ‘no’ and simply give up? Absolutely not, this is my personal YES.” Calling upon my passions and talents, I developed a win-win situation for Macy’s and myself. After ten months of determination and belief they accepted my offer, and this past Thanksgiving I had the honor and great pleasure of being a clown in the 77th Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

This is my story, my most recent dream realized. What is your dream for 2004? What do you want more than anything? What are you willing to do to manifest your deepest longing, your authentic life, in the next twelve months?

The most meaningful part of achieving your vision lies in the fact that the joy doesn’t begin and end with only you. Accomplishing your intention is not a purely selfish act that only you can claim. I believe it was significant that twice in the past month, after my parade experience was confirmed, an important quote crossed my path. The quote comes from Howard Thurman, a theologian and educator who said,

“Ask what makes you come alive and then go and do it, because what the world needs is people who have come alive”.

I asked myself, “How can I make my goal significant to others?” I decided to try my best to be the most exuberant, hands-on clown I could be! So for two and a half miles, I shook as many hands as possible, sprinkled confetti on children who were tucked behind barriers and might otherwise be missed, and wished “Happy Thanksgiving” to Moms and Dads until my throat was sore. They didn’t realize a middle-aged life coach and mother was greeting them; they were thrilled that a brightly dressed clown with a big red smile was trying to make them happy.

How can you come alive in 2004? What brand of joy are you ready to bring to others? There are limitless possibilities and I whole-heartedly believe in the power of your own “YES!”