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A
Man Founded a Powerful Women’s Discussion Group. What?
While it may seem
odd, the truth is that I, a man, have helped to
form a powerful women’s discussion group. No,
I don’t participate. But yes, I am proud of my contribution.
In 1996, I founded
a men’s group called the “Men’s
Inquiry” (www.toinquire.com). We
meet monthly to discuss various issues that foster the exploration
of the unexplored, that which is just outside our awareness,
in a way that gives us more freedom and power. Our meeting
honors the true essence of masculine energy in a way that
supports all life.
Having participated
in and led other trainings on men's issues, my
concept for the “Men’s Inquiry” was to
create an environment where men can profoundly nurture,
trust and emotionally support each other.
It is a place where we explore ourselves and embrace our
full humanity.
A different question
is posed at each meeting. The
premise of this work is that often the behaviors, beliefs,
and values, which have the most influence on our lives,
are just outside our conscious awareness.
It is easier to change something once we become more conscious
of it. Through this inquiry we can discover what we have
not been aware of, allowing us to claim it or change it.
A shared dialogue encourages a broadened
and more supported view from which we can become more of
who we really want to be.
Numerous women, hearing
what the men’s group was about, began asking, "When
are you going to have a “Women's
Inquiry?" When I finally realized they
were serious, I knew I could start the first one, but would
need some good women to lead it in the future.
I knew that a women’s
version of the Men’s Inquiry would take on a different
personality and that intrigued me, since I
have a deep passion for how distinguishing the masculine
and feminine can enhance our lives and relationships.
And I need to be very clear, I am not interested in any
use of this knowledge to enhance separation of the sexes
or to prove that one is better or more of a victim than
the other.
Thankfully, after
several months of formative changes, the Women’s
Inquiry began to take on life when a winning team of women
came forward to lead it. I met with Amy Sky and
explained the vision: that it was based on the use of questions
about our lives to be explored in a way that enhanced connection
between the participants and also enhanced their lives;
that its design was a contribution to society, never
to be charged for, and that the participants
would honor the vision and then let the Inquiry evolve to
serve them. I was deeply touched that Amy could understand
my vision and wanted to be a moderator.
Barbara
Carr then agreed to serve as co-moderator, inserting one
“caveat” that she would be a watchdog for male-bashing
or people wallowing in their emotions (based on previous
experience in women’s gatherings). She now happily
reports that the Inquiry is holding true to its higher-level
vision!
To illustrate the
similarities and differences in the Men’s and Women’s
format, I’ll describe the Men’s. It starts at
7:30 pm when the men share whatever they need in order to
be fully present, typically mentioning a current challenge
in their lives. The question begins at 8 pm. An example
would be: How do we give our women our strength
without dominating or acquiescing? It’s tossed
out like a ball going up in the air until someone breaks
the silence with a comment. The
discussion goes until 9:15 PM, when the men contribute what
they gained from the evening, and perhaps what they are
inspired to commit to.
Although the women’s
meeting originally tried to hold to a similar “ball
game” format,
It has been finding its own voice, pleasantly morphing
into a soft, nurturing session which allows personal needs
and concerns to be gently expressed and addressed.
Magically, Barbara and Amy say, the monthly question seems
to speak to someone’s special need.
A zone of safety is in place for authentic expression,
since all Inquiry meetings begin with a verbal agreement
of confidentiality.
So, every third Tuesday,
I am proud to give up my house to six to 16 women
at 7 PM, and return when the discussion ends, after 9:00
PM. I can tell you what a gift it is to see the
women after the meeting. They
look powerful, and beautiful, like their souls have been
fed. Often the conversations continue quite
a bit after 9:00 PM! |
Martin
Brossman
has
20
years
of
professional
experience,
7
years
with
IBM
and
13
years
developing
and
operating
small
businesses.
Mr.
Brossman
has
successfully
integrated
his
background
in
science
and
technology
with
extensive
personal
development
training.