Challenge
the Grief and Enjoy the Benefit
After 40-plus years
of living up North, I relocated to the South, back to
where I have dreamed for years I would like to be. I left
relationships and resources I had grown, nurtured and
enjoyed most of my life.
The culture shock and major challenges I encountered were
almost overwhelming.
Striving to overcome
the negatives and the grief of separation, coupled
with the rigors of covert racism and disrespect,
I was left feeling mentally vulnerable and physically
whipped.
With my
spirit broken, I found myself questioning God at length
with the why’s, when’s and why nots.
The answer came after many more questions and fervent
prayers, in the Spring of the second year of my relocation.
It illuminated my spirit from deep within, validating
and reassuring my soul with a Peace that prompted me to
write what I was hearing and experiencing.
I wrote A
Book of Poems, From Lessons Learned in Loving, Living,
Giving, Forgiving, Healing and Beginning Again.
The act of writing this book proved to be both therapeutic
and enlightening, opening new doors for me and allowing
me an outlet in which to grow.
Below are two poems
from that work:
CHOICE
I’m
learning to respect
myself more each
and every day.
I
choose to add value
to my life by recognizing
that everything that
I live is my very own.
Therefore,
I must keep
my mind and body
healthy and vibrant
by refusing to engage in
or focus on
activities or
relationship
that will
bruise
or
abuse
my
love.
I
choose to take
responsibility for
my life and be
in charge.
Thank
you for
respecting my choice.
I
choose
to
respect
yours.
FORGIVENESS
I
allowed myself to feel inferior,
only because someone or some folks
treated me that way.
And
then I used my mind and remembered…..
I am not inferior, rather
I am a superior caring being of substance
and flexibility.
Armed
with the healed scars gleaned
from the pain and punishment
of intuitively
picking up and responding
to hurt love,
rejection and inferior treatment….
I
reminded myself that it was through the very same
school of negativity that I was
taught by superior beings, acting in inferior ways,
lessons of love, forgiveness, flexibility,
endurance and determination.
I
repented. No longer humiliated,
I felt validated. I regained
balance
and was humbled…you have
helped me to remember my healings.
I
forgave myself,
You are forgiven.
Ms.
Doris E. Barksdale is the Certified Motivational Consultant/ Community
Development Manager for the Carolina Hurricanes Hockey Team. She has counseled
hundreds of clients, including corporate executives, city officials to
NHL & NBA stars over the past fifteen years. She is the author of
the Circles Training Program, a six-week training program that was copyrighted
in 1973 and continues to be updated and utilized.