The Effects of Praising Children

Praise means to express approval, to actually glorify! Children need praise and positive reinforcement from their elders, whether they are parents, teachers, caregivers, friends, and even older siblings. Approval is so very important to a child. Constant praise and reinforcement of positive affirmations will assist children in believing in themselves, as well as helping them understand that others also believe in them.

We should take caution in the choice of words spoken to children. For example, instead of saying, “don’t run,” we should say, “use walking feet.” The human mind, upon receiving the message, “don’t run,” will record “run” and consciously or not, worry over it. The “don’t” doesn’t help. If anything, it hurts because it’s a negative. And so the child who is told, “don’t run” is more likely to run. Sending a message of what to do instead of what not to do can make a difference in their response. Remember, the response is usually a result of the approach.

Children will meet expectations required of them. Using words like, “I know you can…” and “show me how you can do…” is a great way of watching them successfully perform whatever the task is. There is a saying,

“Treat a person as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a person as if he were what he could ultimately be and should be, and he will become what he could and should be.”

There have been numerous psychological studies to support this approach. It’s called the Pygmalion effect, or the psychology of self-fulfilling prophecy. This approach works well with one student or the entire class.

If we rely 90 percent on positive reinforcement and use the remaining 10 percent for punishment when needed, it seems that the short-term negative (punishment) can have a long-term positive reaction in that it really reinforces the learning that you want to instill. This is the most effective way of teaching.

Included here is a list of encouraging phrases and positive affirmations for you to print off and keep handy. Post in a visible and convenient place (the refrigerator is always a good place for posting). As there are three pages in this attachment, you may want to delete or condense entries where appropriate. Please feel free to forward this document on to your friends and contacts or print it out and take it to your child's teacher or caregiver.

Download Ways to Praise Your Child document. To save to your desktop, right click on the link and select "Save Target As" then select the folder on your desktop to where you'd like to save the file.