Write Your Own Ticket

Is it WORKING?

Is what you are doing getting you what you want?

This is the third in the series of three crucial questions for living a happy and healthy life.

Only YOU can determine the effectiveness of your choices based on the clarity of your values and desired outcome.

How do you spell SUCCESS? Evaluating our behavior is easiest when we have first been clear about the goal we are trying to reach. Goals may be both short term and long term, and are influenced by the goals and desires of those around us, further complicating our ability to answer this question clearly.

Are you getting what you want and need? According to whom? How do you know? Are you living for today or busy planning for the future? Are your actions in alignment with what you say you value? Actions speak louder than words, and we tend to do things we think will get us what we want. The more conscious we are about both the more satisfied we are likely to be in our lives. When we are dissatisfied, changing our behavior can be a powerful and positive avenue.

Short Term versus Long Term

As our lives evolve, what we want changes, as does our approach to acquisition. What works today may generate greater challenges down the road…we may win the battles yet ultimately lose the war. Yet if we place too much emphasis on the future we rob ourselves of the joy we deserve today. We cannot wait for disease in our minds and bodies or broken relationships to alert us to the need for different choices. Evaluate your evolution along the way and connect with others who can support your efforts with honest feedback. Honestly evaluate your natural time frame horizon and be sensitive to the need for both short and long term planning. As our itineraries change we must be prepared to alter the flight pattern.

I enjoy playing softball, and played on a team once with my friend Ray. Ray was an excellent batter and a very fast runner. So fast that he passed me on second base on his way to third. He did this not just once, but twice in the same game! Now if Ray’s goal was to get around the bases as fast as possible he may have succeeded. But if his goal was to be a team player and help us all win the game, his approach was ineffective.

Yours or Somebody Else’s?

Accepting someone else’s judgment of what we should value, do and be in life is a quick recipe for disaster. Others are often quick to evaluate and pass judgment on our behavior without the context of who we are and what we truly desire in life. No one knows us as well as we know ourselves, so we are required to assess and fine-tune our progress along the way in order to avoid major breakdowns. Keeping up with the Jones’ is a popular yet perplexing and often unproductive means to a very elusive uncertain end.

Be clear about what you value in your life
and align your behavior accordingly.

The clearer you are about what is truly important, the easier it becomes to make choices and answer difficult questions. Avoid the temptation of allowing someone else to determine what takes priority for you at any given moment. Honestly evaluate who you are, where you are and how you got there as a baseline for taking effective action.

Define your goals clearly, look honestly at the multifaceted nature of your behavior and take responsibility for evaluating and accepting the consequences of your choices. If you don’t like the way your life is going, take action to do something different. It is that simple, but rarely is it easy.