Put Yourself First!

“Putting yourself first” and “being a woman” can sometimes sound like a contradiction of terms. If this is the case for you, it’s time to stop and reevaluate your situation.

I remember when I first paid attention to the advice of “putting yourself first.” I was a stay at home mom with two very young children and I decided it was time for me to have a night out . . . once a week, every week. This night out was a way for me to spend time with myself and for me to put myself first.

On my night out, I made my husband’s dinner early so that I could then feed the kids an early dinner. This would give me enough time to clean the kitchen and load the dishwasher, except for the plate that held and kept my husband’s food warm. Then it was time for baths, entertaining one while bathing the other. I would then make sure I had a bottle ready and that the sippy-cup was full. I laid out the bedtime snack and wrote out any necessary instructions. In between doing all this I tried to get myself ready, wishing I had some up-to-date clothes or that I at least knew what the up-to-date fashion was.

By the time my husband got home from work, I was usually exhausted, but it was my night out and I was determined to put myself first! He wasn’t always thrilled with it being my night out, and I usually started feeling guilty for leaving those precious children! What kind of mother was I anyway? After all, they were both under 3! I went anyway.

My night out was Thursday and I spent them in different ways. For the first Thursday of the month, I started a Moms’ Night Out with the moms in my playgroup. We met at a restaurant and talked about . . . guess what . . . our children! It was fun being with these women without having our children hanging on us. We could actually have a conversation, which by the way, I had to relearn how to do.

On the second Thursday of the month, I attended another women’s group. This group was a multi-age group that included women with careers. They dressed nicely and talked about current events and worldly issues . . . something I really had to relearn!

On the third Thursday of the month, I sometimes met a friend for some one-on-one time. But most of the time I would go to Barnes & Noble. I either brought a book or pulled one off the shelf. I ordered a chocolate chip cookie and a tall decaf in a mug. I would sit at the counter overlooking the store and spend my time reading, journaling, watching people, thinking, dreaming and loving life!

On the last Thursday of the month, I reconnected with four of my friends by starting a Book Club. These were friends whomI had before I became a wife and mother. We read inspiring, motivational, and spiritual self-help books. We did the work that the books suggested. We went to workshops and seminars together, including Oprah’s “Live Your Best Life Tour.” And after reading a book by Cheryl Richardson, our Book Club became a Life Makeover Group. Being in this group helped me become the Life Coach that I am today.

When you learn to put yourself first, not only do you benefit, so do the people around you. My nights out helped me become a better wife, a better mother, a better friend and an awesome Life Coach! I still go out most Thursday Nights. I’m not quite as tired when I leave, and most of my clothes are now in style.

Just as the flight attendant tells us to put the oxygen mask over ourselves first, we must do so in our daily living too. Learn to carve out some time, and put yourself first! It’s worth the effort.