Write Your Own Ticket

How would you like to write your own ticket?
Have you considered the fact that you already do?

We all make choices everyday that shape our lives and move us in a particular direction. The sooner we recognize and embrace responsibility for those choices, the more conscious and proactive we become at defining and achieving the life we desire. Finding our purpose and honoring our calling in life is directly dependent upon our ability to ask the right questions and to listen intuitively for the answers.

Decades of experience as a helping professional, facilitator, speaker, and coach, have consistently revealed the same three questions as a universal foundation of effectiveness. Coined as Reality Therapy in the helping profession, Quality Management in leadership circles, and Appreciative Inquiry in the realm of organizational development, the basic questions remain constant:

What do you WANT?
What are you DOING?
Is it WORKING?

Our individual answers to these questions craft our unique path, revealing our attitudes and beliefs through our actions.

If you don’t decide what you want in life,
someone else will decide for you.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

This is actually the most crucial and most often neglected question in life.
It takes courage to ask the question “What do I want in my life.”
It takes even more courage to seek and live the answer.
Yet if you do not answer it for yourself, someone else will answer it for you.

Po Bronson wrote a book titled, What Should I do With My Life? based on his research of more than 400 people who report they have consciously answered that question. The most alarming revelation of his research is the fact that most people never even ask the question. Many believe that the question is reserved for people who have already defined and achieved their dreams.

When defining wants, consider the following distinctions:

Wants vs. Don’t Wants

Our brain is designed for survival, so it is very adept at identifying what we do not want. It requires conscious training to shift focus from what we don’t want to what we actually do want. Martin Seiligson confirmed this tendency in his review of research on depression and joy. He found more than 40,000 articles on depression, yet only 40 on joy.

What We Focus on Expands

This is the universal law of resonance. We tend to find more of whatever we are looking for. Train your brain to focus on what is going right and you will continue to see more of the same. Focusing on what is right in relationships will change your perspective and your life.

Wants vs. Needs

Discernment between wants and needs is a fine art. Though we all want something different in life, our needs are very basic and universal. We get caught up in thinking we need more and better, when many of us can be satisfied very simply by recognizing we have all we really need. Embrace this timeless truth communicated best by the Rolling Stones:

‘You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometime,
you’ll find, you get what you need!’

Your Wants vs. Someone Else’s Wants

Media is a multi million-dollar industry designed for the sole purpose of defining wants and needs for you, based on what they want you to purchase. They capture our hearts by connecting emotionally through our values.

Be cautious of the tendency to want what others have. The proverbial need to ‘keep up with the Jones’ creates an illusion that traps many into pursuing a lifestyle that does not fit their needs. It is imperative to define your values from the inside out and align your head and heart accordingly.

Writing your own ticket begins with defining what you want. It is about being authentic enough to ask the important questions, and to listen intuitively for the answers. Listening to your heart and following your dreams takes courage and conscious effort. Start defining what you want by evaluating where you are and where you want to be in each of the personal vision factors: abilities, skills, interests, personal style, family, values, goals and career development cycle.

This article is the first in a series of topics of Write Your Own Ticket, written to assist you in taking a conscious proactive approach to living the life you desire and deserve. Each article will address one of the three primary questions.