Make Magic in a Child’s Life:
Become a Mentor

Rigor, relevance, and relationships are the new “Rs” of education. Of these, relationships (by promoting a sense of belonging by showing interest in students’ lives) may be the most challenging.

According to the Search Institute, children need to know at least three other adults besides their parents they can turn to for advice and support. In a recent survey of 100,000 sixth grade through twelfth grade students in 213 communities, less than 50% of the youth had at least three adults (besides their parents) they could go to for advice and support (1999 Annual Report. Minneapolis, MN: Search Institute).

It will take a team effort of caring adults from the home, school, community, and faith organizations willing to commit to providing young people with support, counsel, and friendship to help them develop their full potential.

Becoming a mentor and developing a relationship with a young person is one of the critical ingredients to student success and one of the greatest gifts you can give a young person.

The Points of Light Foundation defines a mentor as “a caring adult who makes an active, positive contribution to the life of a child who is not his or her own. It’s someone who has found ways to succeed in life—and cares enough to pass those lessons along. A friend, a guide, a coach.”

Natural mentoring and planned mentoring are two ways adults can connect with young people. Natural mentoring are those unplanned types of relationships that come from teaching, coaching, counseling, or the happenstance result of friendship from being neighbors or having other connections. Planned mentoring is more intentional and happens through structured programs such as Communities in Schools.

Consider making some magic in the life of a child by becoming a mentor. The number of mentoring programs is growing and there are many options available.

Here are the top 10 tips on becoming an effective mentor from Building Relationships: A Guide for New Mentors:

1. Be a friend.
2. Have realistic goals and expectations.
3. Have fun together.
4. Give your mentee voice and choice in deciding on activities.
5. Be positive.
6. Let your mentee have much of the control over what the two of you talk about—and how you talk about it.
7. Listen.
8. Respect the trust your mentee places in you.
9. Remember that your relationship is with the youth, not the youth’s parent.
10. Remember that you are responsible for building the relationship.

If you are looking for some structured ways to become a mentor, here are some examples of groups across the state that match mentors with young people.

Big Brothers Big Sisters is a one-to-one mentoring program that is making a big difference for the youth it serves. The research from Public/Private Ventures consistently demonstrates that Big Brothers Big Sisters mentoring helps at-risk youth overcome the many challenges they face. Here are just a few of the ways mentoring makes a difference for Little Brothers and Little Sisters:

• 46% less likely to begin using illegal drugs;
• 27% less likely to begin using alcohol;
• 52% less likely to skip school;
• 37% less likely to skip class;
• More confident in their schoolwork performance;
• Able to get along better with their families.

For a listing of Big Brother and Big Sisters Programs in North Carolina, visit this Web site: http://serve.nc.state.nc.us/programs/bigbro/

E-Mentoring is a good option for an adult with a schedule that may not allow for regular meetings. A relationship develops by exchanging messages online. This type of mentoring can help a mentee learn more about high-tech communication and improve writing skills. The Highland School of Technology has implemented a great E-Mentoring program that connects students with adult career mentors. Visit this Web site to learn more: http://www.gaston.k12.nc.us/schools/highland/Mentor/

N.C. Mentoring Partnership has a specific mentoring goal of encouraging more citizens to volunteer in our schools to help bridge the achievement gap and help all children be successful. For more information, call Linda Harrill, director of the N.C. Mentoring Partnership, Office of the Governor, at (919) 715-5263 or 1-800-820-4483 or visit the Web site, http://www.volunteernc.org/code/mentpart.htm

MentorPlace is a partnership between IBM Corporation and EdReach, Inc., a nonprofit organization committed to expanding quality online mentoring around the world. This is a great example of how a business can support their employees in becoming mentors. For more information, visit: http://www.mentorplace.org/login.do

Communities In Schools believes that children need a one-on-one relationship with a caring adult because adults who care—and put their caring into action as mentors, tutors, and role models—are critical to the success of young people. To find out more on mentoring opportunities with CIS in North Carolina, visit this link: http://www.cisnc.org/

Remember that relationships don’t happen overnight. It can take time to develop a positive relationship. Be sure to plan time together to be long enough for the young person to feel safe and feel that you can be trusted. Once you have gained the trust of your mentee, keep it. Don’t be late for time together and be committed to making this a long-term relationship.

Regardless of the particular mentoring approach you choose, mentoring is a win-win situation for everyone.