AlexSandra Lett "Lett's Set a Spell"

Lett’s Set a Spell: Holiday Memories and
Timeless Traditions

On Thanksgiving Day, the house where Mama and Daddy (Ruby and Bud Lett) lived for more than 55 years featured a different family gathering. The kitchen stove and cabinet tops that once displayed a big turkey, cornbread dressing, ham, mashed potatoes, candied yams, green beans, peas, cranberry salad, and biscuits prepared by Mama were not so full. Instead, several family members baked goodies at home and contributed various offerings similar to the ones usually served in what we called “Ruby’s Restaurant.” As usual, the enticing aroma of many traditional foods permeated the air.

This is our family’s first Thanksgiving without Mama, and while her culinary creations were missed, it was her welcoming smile and giving spirit that we longed for the most. Last year we had celebrated the holidays for the first time without Daddy, and it was gut-wrenching, but we young’uns and kinfolks hid our sorrow for the sake of Mama. On Thanksgiving we young'uns and grandchildren laughed until we cried as we told funny stories about our parents and also allowed the tears to flow as we shared tender memories about Mama and Daddy. We have discovered that healing from loss is an ongoing process that must be honored.

Meanwhile, on Thanksgiving Day, family members observed the usual custom of picking up pecans from the big tree in the backyard of my parents’ farmhouse. However, we did not see the delight in Daddy’s eyes when he proudly gazed at buckets of pecans placed on the back porch just waiting for him to empty through the winter months. Daddy loved pickin’ out “pee-cans” almost as much as he did pickin’ his “git-tar.”

In their retirement years, Mama and Daddy found comfort in simple projects that allowed them to stay indoors during cold weather. Daddy loved sitting at the kitchen table day after day using his “citified” nutcracker, and then carefully separating the core from the shell with a knife. Mama did her share of pickin’ out, and placed the best pecans in plastic bags for sharing with others. Small pieces were frozen for use in her recipes. A neighbor, Jerry Carter, delivered the pecans to his eager coworkers and friends who couldn’t do their Christmas baking without Mama and Daddy’s nuts. Folks say they were the best pecans they had ever eaten—after all, Mama and Daddy had poured love in every single nut.

Mama and Daddy appreciated home, family, the land—they knew that money can not buy happiness ... that material things do not provide peace of mind. If Mama had lived a little longer, we would have celebrated her 86th birthday on November 26. She always welcomed the extra hugs and caring companionship much more than any presents.

When I think of Thanksgiving I am most grateful for the love I saw Mama and Daddy experience with each other, how they held hands every day and found magic in the simple life. On Thanksgiving Day I felt that same caring spirit in their farmhouse. As Christmas approaches I will laugh and cry a lot as I recall memories of Mama and Daddy and as I reflect on timeless traditions passed down from their generation to ours.

Throughout the holidays and for the rest of my life, I know that whenever love wells up in my heart Mama and Daddy are near.

AlexSandra Lett is a professional speaker and writes a column, “Lett’s Set a Spell,” for various publications and websites. Her new nostalgic book, Timeless Recipes and Remedies, Country Cooking, Customs, and Cures, was released in November. She is the author of Timeless Moons, Seasons of the Fields and Matters of the Heart, and A Timeless Place, Lett’s Set a Spell at the Country Store. She can be reached at 919-258-9299 and LettsSetaSpell@aol.com. Her Web site is www.atimelessplace.com