The Bad News: We all have them—those little voices in our head that steal our joy and keep us from our heart’s desires. They creep into our thoughts in the middle of the night, when we are about to try something new or daring, or when we are feeling tired and stressed.

The Good News: We have the right to talk back to those gremlins… and watch them disappear! In order to do this, we have to be very aware of what those voices are. We all have our own personal cast of characters communicating inside their heads, so see if any of my personal Top Ten Voices sound familiar.

1. The Critic: “You’re not (smart, pretty, thin, good) enough.”

This voice is often the loudest, ripping our self-esteem to shreds in an instant. I call it the “dream killer,” because it negates our very worth and value. It may originate from a parent, relative, or so-called friend who told you that you’re not enough. Repeat after me (aloud) the following affirmation: “I am valuable and worthwhile!”

2. The Child: “I’m afraid of (failure, looking stupid, success).”

Based in fear and shame, this voice stops us dead in our tracks when we aspire to do new things or take risks. We all have our fears, but in order to live life with excitement and joy, sometimes we just have to take action in spite of those fears. We can affirm: “I have the courage to act even though I feel afraid.”

3. The Excuse Maker: “I have no choice.”

We may not have a choice about what happens to us in life, but we can always choose our attitude. It begins with our thoughts, translates into our words and our actions, and behaviors will follow. You are in charge of your mind, so go ahead and say it like you mean it: “I am in charge of my mind and make excellent choices because of my attitude.”

4. The Victim: “Why me?”

Well, why not you? Stuff happens to all of us while we are busy planning our lives. I shoo this little gremlin away by first choosing a positive mental attitude and saying aloud (many, many times): “This too shall pass.” Trust me; it will.

5. The Bully: “You are so (fat, stupid, uncoordinated, untalented).”

You wouldn’t tolerate anyone else saying this to you, would you? Of course not! Beating ourselves up is a waste of time, energy and talents. I talk back to this voice very loudly and assertively: “I love who I am and who I am becoming. I enjoy being myself!”

6. The People Pleaser: “You said ‘yes’ when you meant ‘no.’ What a wimp!”

Pleasing people is a losing business. You will never make 100 percent of the population happy 100 percent of the time. You may collapse trying and rob yourself of authenticity. Throw the pleaser out the door with this statement: “I have the right to set limits and draw boundaries.”

7. The Actress: “You are such a phony. Someone’s going to find you out!”

There is nothing more freeing than discovering your own authenticity. It takes work—and often painful discoveries—to uncover your true self. But it is the most gratifying work you will ever do. Here is something you can declare to this little monster: “I courageously accept my own authenticity.”

8. The Green-eyed Monster: “I wish I (looked like her, had his money, etc.).”

We have all been stricken with the “grass is greener” syndrome at one time or another. But remember—that “greener grass” still has to be mowed! When this ugly snake rears its head, just hiss back: “I am thankful for all that I have.”

9. The Nagger: “You should have, could have …”

This vocal creep nitpicks your little faults. Unlike the critic, who harps on the glaring gaffes, this tiny gnat annoys you enough to undermine your confidence. The best way to talk to the Nagger is to simply say: “Put a lid on it! I am looking forward.”

10. The Unforgiver: “I will never forgive (him, her) for that!”

I saved this for last, because it is probably the most dangerous of all our voices. Unforgiving is the ultimate soul cancer: an illness that destroys us from the inside out. There is ultimate freedom and peace in forgiving those who have caused the most pain in our lives. We can rid ourselves of this demon by making a conscious, not emotional, choice to say: “I am willing to be willing to forgive….”

As we were growing up, our parents taught us to never talk back. But when your inner negative voices begin to take control, that is one time when talking back is the best remedy you can take. May you have awesome conversations!