I have to be honest here: I know so little about how to “remain, rest and abide.” I have moved so many places in my life that I am always thrown by those who ask me “so where are you from?” I also have this “go, go, go” mentality, which gives me very little time to rest. And what in the world is “abide”? Abide the laws? Oh, you don’t mean that? Well then, what does “abide” mean?

In our hurried-up, get-there-fast, get-there-first world, we have lost all sense of how to remain, rest and abide. We move to new cities time and time again to get that better-paying job and bigger house. We stay up most of the night sweating over some big project, and we only abide in our self-created sense of self, with little to no regard to those around us. This was my life for close to 20 years. And then the Lord said, “Go to Haiti.”

During our mission’s trip to Haiti, the Lord was determined to teach me about what it means to remain, rest and abide. In Haiti, despite the fact that it is one of the poorest countries on the planet, people who are born there want to stay there. This absolutely blew me away. Everyone seeks a better life, right? Everyone wants to live the American dream, don’t they? I wanted to scream out, “Don’t you see the devastation, the hunger, the poverty around you? Leave!” And yet I heard, “I want to remain. I want to stay where I am and make it better. I choose my country above anywhere else that I could live.” At night, I would cry out to the Lord and ask Him to give them eyes to see. And in His wisdom, He knew it was I who needed the new eyes to see. His words were clear to me, “If everyone left, what would become of the community of people called Haitians? What would happen to the children abandoned on the doorsteps of orphanages because they weren’t made according to someone’s perfect image? Who would feed and educate the children so they could make Haiti the nation it can be?”

The heat and humidity was oppressive, with no cooling breeze; some days the temperature would go as high as 120 degrees. I compare it to staying in a sauna all day. In that kind of heat, you have no option to “go, go, go;” your options are to move very slowly or to just sit and rest. One Sunday, as I was sitting in a little church packed with people, the heat overcame me. I felt myself feeling faint and nauseated. I had to find a place of rest, but where was I to go? I thought that if only I could reach the back steps, I could just sit there and maybe start to feel better. But as I got up to walk to the back, the pastor came up and asked me what I needed. After a back-and-forth of “I will be ok,” and “no, I will take care of you,” he won out, and I was on my way to his house with him and his wife on either side of me. They insisted that I lie on their bed and rest. I didn’t want to rest. I just wanted to go back to church, be better, and to minister to them, not to have them minister to me. They simply had it all wrong. And once again, I could hear the Lord saying, “They are doing what is right. You need to learn to rest in me.” And with no ability to get up, I rested. The Lord sent two other angels named Gwen and Serge to minister to me (in human form); they ministered, and I rested.

The days were long and hot in Haiti. At times I felt like I just literally couldn’t go on. I kept saying to the Lord, “I can’t do this. I mean it; I can’t go on.” And He would tell me, “You are right; you need to abide in me.” “Abide in you? Lord, I need strength. I need you to take away this heat. I need a cloud or two. I need a breeze.” And I would hear “Abide in me.” And after He whittled me down bit by bit, and after I shed many tears, I finally understood how to abide. I learned how to sit at the Lord’s feet and just be still in His presence. And in the stillness, I could see the people around me so much more clearly. I could see their love for life, their love for family, and most importantly their love for God. I was astonished and amazed at the people around me. Even the little children who barely had enough to eat waited and trusted in the Lord to provide for them, knowing He would do as He promised.

Remain in the place you consider most sacred and holy. It may not be perfect, but if you remain and it remains in you, you both will be transformed. Rest. Take time to breathe. Take time to look at the wonders of all of creation around you. Take time to appreciate how wonderfully you are made. Abide. Abide in the knowledge that there is one greater than you, who loves you and cares for you. Abide in the outstretched arms of the Savior.