Barbara Busey

Seven Social Savvy
Strategies for the Season

Whether attending the company’s Christmas party or a client’s holiday reception or your cousin’s annual open house, ask yourself this one question: “Why am I here?” And think carefully about the answer. It may be a function that is politically important for your career. It may be a sign of support for a colleague or client. It may be simply to please your spouse. Whatever the reason, it behooves us to behave well, be good ambassadors of our company or our family, and try to enjoy ourselves. After all, you never know what will come of a chance meeting at a holiday party.

Here are some strategies for navigating the Holiday Season’s soirees, especially for those who would rather not be there …

1. Have a purpose for being there—set some specific goals. It really doesn’t matter what they are, as long as it gives you a reason for being there. It could be that you’d like to meet anyone who works for ABC Company; it could be that you want to be sure to ask Jane Doe about her new job or her new grandchild; you may simply decide to challenge yourself to meet three new people. The point is that if you feel like you have some specific goal to accomplish, you’ll feel more purposeful and will find your actions more directed and focused, instead of feeling aimless and lost.

2. Don’t eat and drink at same time. You cannot balance a plate of food and a full glass while simultaneously trying to eat, drink, talk, and probably shake hands. Don’t create that stress for yourself. Try a visit to the buffet table first. After you’ve finished eating, then get your drink from the bar and begin to roam.

3. While mingling around, try to hold your drink in you left hand. The reason is obvious—it will keep your right hand free (and dry) to shake hands.

4. Many social events involve wearing a name tag, which should be worn on the right side. Why? Picture two people shaking hands—either they’re going to be directly face-to-face or they will be angled in a way that projects the right side of their bodies forward because that’s the side they shake hands with. So if your name tag is on your right side, it simply makes it easier for the other person to see it and note your name.

5. Initiate conversation—yes, with strangers. The best strategy to use is find odd numbers of people. It’s much easier to ease into a group of three people and pick up on or start a new conversation with one of the people than it is to approach a pair deep in conversation. Also, the odd number of one is perfect to approach! Then get a conversation going by introducing yourself and then asking a simple question: “What do you do?” “How do you know the host?” “What are your plans for the holidays?” Remember the secret to conversation is not in what you say. Being a good listener is the mark of a good conversationalist. Ask questions, respond appropriately, seem genuinely interested in the other person, and you’ll find making conversation is very easy and will leave people with a positive impression of you.

6. For those awkward situations where you feel “cornered” by another partygoer, remember the “ten-minute” rule: You do not have to spend more than ten minutes with anyone. After that, you’re not being rude by excusing yourself. Gracious exit lines: “It was great talking with you. Maybe we can continue this later after I’ve gotten something to eat/drink.” “Oh, I see so and so over there and really need to talk with her. It was so nice to meet you.”

7. Behave like it’s your party. Most of us fall into the understandable trap of behaving like a guest, which generally means passively. How would you act if you were the host? You’d probably greet people warmly, introduce them to others, offer them refreshments, show them around, inquire after their jobs/families/interests, etc. Transfer that kind of assertive, proactive behavior to the situation in which you’re one of countless anonymous guests, and you’ll find that people will respond positively to it and you’ll have a better time.

Happy Holidays!