Kelly Capps - North Carolina Journal for Women

Kelly Capps

Surviving Holiday Stress

Did you get a turkey? Why didn’t you get a ham? I like meatloaf. Mom! Joey bit me! What’s Santa bringing me this year? I hope I can return this since it doesn’t fit. We’re all out of that and probably won’t get anymore in this year. Are you going to Aunt Ellen’s? What time does your flight leave? When does your Mother arrive? Christmas always depresses me. I eat too much. Rush, rush, rush, and then it’s over. I’m not going to spend as much this year as I did last year. Holidays are too commercialized.

Hey! Slow down! It’s true, the holidays are approaching, but that doesn’t mean you have to suffer to enjoy them. The holiday season is a time for joy, cheer, parties, and family gatherings. However, for many people, they can be a time of stress, depression, loneliness, self-evaluation, reflection of past failures, and anxieties about the future. Many factors can cause holiday stress—or even depression such as unrealistic expectations, over-commercialization, financial constraints, or the inability to be with family. The demands of shopping, overcrowded malls, holiday traffic, and entertaining houseguests can also add to the tension.

But it doesn’t have to. The holidays should and can be the jolliest time of the year! Let’s review a few basic survival skills that will help you survive the holiday stress this year:

Tips for Beating Holiday Stress

* Don’t try to be perfect. Keep expectations manageable and set realistic goals for yourself. Make a list and prioritize, being realistic about what you can and cannot do.
* Don’t put the entire focus on just one day. Remember, it is a season of holiday sentiment and activities can be enjoyed over time and spread out to lessen stress.
* Practice moderation in your activities, as well as in eating, drinking, and spending.
* Enjoy free holiday activities such as parties, decorating, visiting with friends, admiring lights, or visiting Santa with the kids.
* Take the time to remind yourself what the holiday season is all about.
* Spend time with people who are supportive and care about you. Reach out to new friends if you are alone during theses special times or contact someone you have lost touch with.
* Don’t be afraid to try something new. Celebrate the holidays in a way you have not done so before.
* Be careful not to drink too much! Excessive drinking can make you feel more depressed.
* Save time for yourself. Recharge your batteries and let others share responsibility of activities. Organizing and planning for the holidays is not just the woman’s responsibility … put those men to work!

Ten Ways to “Take Charge” During the Holidays

1. Know your needs and ask people to help you meet them.
2. Don’t expect more from others than you are willing to give yourself.
3. Have a plan of action to help you enjoy the holidays: Who? How? What? When?
4. Think positively about yourself, your family, your friends, and your situation.
5. Take advantage of things available that do not cost money such as school plays, concerts, and displays.
6. Don’t compare yourself to others.
7. Plan ahead and give yourself plenty of time.
8. Count your blessings.
9. Learn to live more with less,
10. Pat yourself on the back for getting through another holiday.

Dealing With Loss Around the Holidays

The holidays can be painful for those who have lost a loved one or gone through divorce, especially for children. Coping with separation and loss is magnified during the holidays.

* Talk about your feelings and memories.
* Change your traditional pattern in some way. Have the family dinner at a different place or open gifts at a different time. Create new rituals and family traditions or get involved in new activities.
* Don’t you or another family member spend too much time alone. Support one another.

Surviving Divorce on the Holidays

* After divorce, be sure to let children know that the holidays will continue, but in a different way. When making plans, be sure to decide ahead of time how the holidays will be divided and remember to include the children in this planning.
* Make sure you and your children have realistic expectations of how the new way of celebrating the holidays will be.
* Try to get plenty of rest, exercise, and eat healthy so you will be better able to cope. Remember, tired children are more easily stressed and more likely to be moody.
* Plan fun activities. If memories are too painful, consider a vacation or a visit to relatives.
* Take one day at a time. Rely on support from friends and family, and realize that it will get easier with time.

Kelly Capps is a Communication Specialist. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Communication from NC State University with a minor in Political Science and a Master’s Degree in Communication from Wake Forest University. She has taught college-level courses in Public Speaking and has done extensive research on organizational crisis management. She currently serves as the Communication and Public Relations Specialist for the Mental Health Association in North Carolina, a private non-profit organization whose mission is to promote mental health and eliminate discrimination against people with mental disorders through advocacy, education, and service.

Kelly B. Capps
Public Relations & Communication Specialist
Mental Health Association of North Carolina
3820 Bland Road
Raleigh, NC 27609919-981-0740 ext 230
KCapps@mha-nc.org