"Nice" Doesn't Mean Good or Effective

Have you ever been asked, or asked someone else, about a particular manager? Was "nice" the first word you used to describe the person? Nice managers can be great managers. Nice managers can be ineffective managers. “Nice” says very little about anyone.

Sometimes it seems that using the word “nice” to describe a manager is like telling someone their blind date has a "great personality." It doesn't address the good or the bad. It certainly doesn’t include the whole picture of the person or particularly relevant characteristics, but it does set off warning signals in our brains.

Have you worked for a "nice" manager? One who just wants everyone to get along? Who in trying to keep things "equitable" and without conflict lets the effectiveness of the group decline? Or one who, in trying to be popular, lets a few, or even the majority of the team, get away with less than stellar performance?

An experienced manager once said there were four F's to managing—fair, frank, friendly, and fun. Let's take these one at a time.

Frank, straightforward, direct, to the point—however you put it, it means addressing issues. The consistently late team member is an issue. A frank discussion is required. The tardy behavior isn't the true issue. The issue is not keeping commitments to the company and the team. It is critical the manager hold a frank discussion with the employee to learn what is going on. It may be the employee has some major personal issues. It may be appropriate to look at changing job assignments. It may be any number of causes, reasons, or issues. For the manager, this is a performance-impacting issue that must be addressed.

Fun isn't associated often enough with the workplace. Work is, after all, serious business. Work is also where we spend the majority of our time. If it isn't a fun place, it drains our energy and has us empathizing with cartoon characters like Dilbert (who I once was sure resided in the cubicle beside me!). Fun is being able to talk, laugh, and enjoy being at work, if not the work. It doesn't mean throwing a baseball, Nerf ball, or other items around in the office while others work. It doesn't mean surfing the Web while colleagues are freaking out as a deadline approaches. Fun also isn't inappropriate or derogatory jokes at a coworkers expense. Fun is an atmosphere of mutual respect and being able to get involved in non-work related activities. It is about building professional, yet personal, ties with team members.