Make Valentine’s Day Special for Everyone

Herman, the philodendron plant my dad gave me on Valentine’s Day thirty years ago, must be a Guinness World Records contender. It survived college-day neglect in dark dusty corners and bounced from apartment to apartment after college and the many moves since then. Amazingly, Herman’s withered and gnarled vines still give a show of vibrant green heart-shaped leaves.

Being a pimply pre-teen without a valentine of mine own that year was enough to send my dad in search of something special that would put a smile back on his little girl’s face. Knowing someone cared was the real gift Dad gave.

Even though Dad died more than eighteen years ago, Herman hangs in there as a living symbol of his love. Other Valentine gifts from him included Al Martino’s recording of “Daddy’s Little Girl.” I still puddle up with tears when I hear the lyrics:

You're the end of the rainbow, my pot of gold,
You're daddy's little girl to have and hold.
A precious gem is what you are.
You're mommy's bright and shining star.
You're the treasure I cherish so sparkling and bright.
You were touched by the holy and beautiful light.
Like angels that sing a heavenly thing,
And you're daddy's little girl.*

Dad started a family tradition of extending Valentine’s Day beyond sweethearts to showering others with love. In our home, our boys know to expect the unexpected on Valentine’s Day. Sometimes it‘s something simple like heart-shaped pancakes for breakfast or an afternoon family card game of hearts.

Valentine’s Day is great way to help children understand the family love part of this holiday. You can help your children express friendship that goes beyond the giving of a box of chocolates. In giving gifts of kindness, time, respect, and compassion, your kids will learn “I love you,” means more than the three words etched into a sweetheart piece of candy.

I have been sharing with my boys the heartwarming stories of congregations baking cookies to take to shut-ins, a radio station rounding up Valentine messages of hope for children in local hospitals, and special food pantry drives for the homeless.

One year on Valentine’s Day, our boys wanted to do something special for our neighbors. Over the years, we’ve seen the many wonderful ways neighbors have reached out to each other. There’s the sweet lady on the corner who brings our dog treats and always makes the time to talk to my boys. The next door neighbor’s son that while edging the curbing in front of their home, keeps the weed-whacker rolling around the corner to our yard. The neighbor, who during a bad storm, noticed our fence gate had blown open and rescued our frightened dog as he bolted down the street.

Another neighbor woke to hear the sounds of an ambulance pulling up in front of the neighbor’s home down the street. Instead of rolling over to sleep more, she put her son in charge of calling neighbors who lived close by to urge them out of bed to help, while she ran down to do what she could to make the emergency situation easier on the family in need.

There are neighbors who lent one of their cars to a single mom whose car was totaled over the Christmas holiday, and donated and delivered food during hard times. The list goes on of the small ways our neighbors show they care.

The boys decided to have a party for all the kids. This was a way they could repay the neighbors’ kindness. At the party, the children decorated Valentine’s Day cards to give to their parents and made heart-shaped cookies to give to neighbors without kids. We left a batch of cookies in the mailbox for our mailman and made sure the neighbor who kept our lawn edges looking neat got a big plateful.

Just for fun, ask kids what they think of Valentine’s Day and falling in love. One of my favorite responses came from an eight-year-old who said

“Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.”

*Bobby Burke/Horace Gerlach. 1941.