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Extraordinary
Love
As
a hospice volunteer, I have had the great fortune of
meeting some beautiful families. They have touched
my life in so many incredible ways and have touched
my innermost heart. I have been most blessed over the
last year and a half to know one extraordinary family,
whose daughter’s name is Shirlee. In
all the time I was her volunteer, I don’t remember
a day that went by when her parents were not by her
side. Shirlee was a 34-year-old
woman with advanced multiple sclerosis (MS). She could
neither move nor talk, so having parents who were so
devoted to ensuring her care was almost essential. When
her parents would arrive, Shirlee would glow. Her tense
body would be at peace. Her closed eyes would open.
Her parents were there and all was at rest.
I
remember one time in particular when Shirlee was running
a high fever and was literally beet red. I
was so distraught that I kept going after the nurses
to come and help her out. Within minutes, the best medicine
of all showed up: her parents. Her grimaced face was
puckered and her eyes were determinedly closed shut
and yet when they entered the room her eyes opened and
she smiled. Her red face became its
normal color. And her fever left her. In all of my years
I have never seen such a dramatic change within seconds.
If love can heal all, it was shown to me in
that moment.
Shirlee
wore a red bracelet with the word “HOPE” on
it. This was THE word for
Shirlee and her family, as there was never a time when
the entire family was not hoping. The whole family knew
that the prognosis was grim, but they kept hoping.
I was called many times, especially over this past summer,
when it was believed that the end was near. But despite
the words of “no hope” from nurses and doctors,
we all knew that Shirlee kept hoping for another day.
And indeed, that hope brought
her back from the “brink” so many times I
lost count.
I
firmly believe that Shirlee held on to such hope because
of the extraordinary love her parents had for her. They
loved their daughter to her core. They told funny stories
about when she met Jay Leno, Richard Marx, and Regis
Philbin (yes, Shirlee got around), they teased each
other in front of her about something that had happened
that day, or they would share some childhood memory
of ways that she was be the defender of the less fortunate.
And when words would escape them, they would simply
hold her hand and put their head to her brow. Anyone
who witnessed the family together could not help but
see the extraordinary love they had for each other.
They all fit perfectly together. I
got to know Shirlee’s brother Michael just a little
while ago, but I often heard the tales about how they
grew up. They were truly a twosome. When I met him,
I could see how the puzzle fit perfectly together as
I looked at the four of them interact with each other.
On
December 30th I was able to witness one last time what
extraordinary love means, and how it is played out with
actions of love. I walked
into Shirlee’s hospital room a final time to see
those whom she loved the most in the world holding her
hands, her feet, and caressing her brow as they told her
once again how much they loved her. They
told her how rich their life had been because she was
in it. They shared with each other stories of special
moments. And they told her to follow the light if she
saw it, so she could just peacefully go to Heaven. As
the pastor prayed one last prayer of peace and for the
Son to take her hand, she breathed her last breath and
went peacefully on to Heaven. She left
us while being surrounded by extraordinary love that strengthened
her to take her next step along life’s journey.
She knew that their love would carry her to her heavenly
home to be with her Father in Heaven. Shirlee
was heavenly blessed to be born to the family that she
had. And her parents were even more blessed to have Shirlee
as their daughter. Surely the Father in Heaven
deemed them to have an overly abundant amount of love
surpassing human bounds and knew only they could be worthy
of such a life so well lived.
For
all of us who knew and loved Shirlee, and for those
of us who were honored to call her friend, we saw what
true hope and courage looked like in the life of one
who was so strong and so determined. Shirlee
defied all odds by being a testament of what profound,
deeply enduring, and unconditional love can do.
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 Cari
is currently at Duke Divinity in order to achieve her Masters of Divinity.
She is also a part-time hospice volunteer. Prior to school, Cari took
a year to volunteer full-time. Before that she was the VP of Employee
Services e-business group with Fidelity for 2 years. She also worked at
IBM for over 18 years in many roles from Human Factors Engineering to
middle management in Human Resources (HR). Cari used to speak at numerous
HR conferences about how to transform HR operations. She also led the
Women’s Diversity Network Group at both IBM and Fidelity. Cari graduated
from the University of Arkansas with a degree in psychology. She loves
to hear from you - her e-mail is williscj@aol.com.
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