Cari Willis

After spending close to two years with my hospice patients, I realized how different each of them was, but how similar they all were in two respects. Each one was different because each person, each personality, each illness, was unique to them. Some of them could talk seemingly endlessly, others could speak for about 10 minutes and then become exhausted, and others could not talk at all. Their illnesses ranged from cancer, to heart problems, to Multiple Sclerosis. But at the end of their lives all of them had two traits in common: love and forgiveness.

At the end of your life you realize that time cannot be taken for granted. If a loved one comes to visit you, you need to make the most of your time together. If there are any issues, they need to be confronted and dealt with right then. Nothing can linger because you are not guaranteed a next time. You dare not let them leave the room without saying at least once, “I love you.” Time is precious and so each second together must be spent in authentic love and forgiveness.

I learned these lessons from one of my hospice patients in particular. She knew that she was coming to the end of her life and she wanted to make sure she made peace with her family. Nothing was more important to her than to have a steady stream of family members in her room so she could let them know how much she loved them and how her forgiveness had always been with them whether they knew it or not. I was able to witness one moment in particular where she had a falling out with one of her grandchildren who had strayed from God and from the family. She told him directly that she loved him, God loved him, and that she forgave him for the hurt he caused her a long time ago. Tears flowed from everyone in the room. They embraced for a long time as he put his head on her chest. Love and forgiveness were the gifts my hospice patient gave before she died.

Christ as well gave these two gifts before he died. From the cross He stated “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34) Later, as the real truth that Jesus was indeed the Son of God was revealed, the people around the cross beat their breasts. Their guilt and anguish must have been unbelievable, but Jesus said, “Father, forgive them.” He knew that all of humanity would need forgiveness before he died. We who put Him on the cross would need to know that He forgives us even today for pinning Him to the cross.

And before He died, Christ told His disciples “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13) Surely the greatest love we have ever laid witness to is Christ on the cross. For me, personally, that defines love. At times the enormity of this act is quite honestly too much for me to take in, so I have to put it within scenarios that I can think of. Lately we saw this love in action through the miners in West Virginia. From the news reports I heard, it appears that the older miners did all they could do to keep the youngest miner alive. They knew that their chances were slim and the carbon dioxide was quickly going to kill them. They wanted someone to live. They wanted someone to have the chance to love his family again. They gave their lives for this one father, husband, and son. We see this “no greater love” in action and we are moved to tears. Our Christ too willingly gave His life so that we could live. We can now have access to a love that is eternal.

Love and forgiveness—what greater gifts can we give?