Burden Me, Pahhhhleeeeassseee!

How many of us have said “Burden me, pahhhleeeasseee” to a friend? Ok, it might be a little more diplomatic than that, you may have said something like “please let me know if there is anything I can do for you, ok?” And what is our quick response? “Oh, absolutely I will. Thanks so much.” NEXT! Right? And our dear friend probably went on to say “I mean, if you need to have someone run to the grocery store, if you need a meal, if you need someone to sit with you, whatever you need—let me know and I will take care of it for you.”

And as she is speaking, we already know we will not actually call her and give her a list of our needs. That’s not how it is done, right? I mean, we are all self-sufficient. We do not need other people to take care of us. If we need food, we can simply eat out if it is too much of a bother to cook anything. If we are in need of medicine from the pharmacy, surely a family member can get it for us so we don’t need to call a friend. We have it all under control. We are self-sufficient islands.

And yet, this is not how we were built. We may want to think that we are each an island, but we are not. Let me repeat: we are not self-sufficient islands, no matter how much we think we are. We need each other. We are not whole without each other.

So why do I stress this point? I have been ill most of the year and have had three surgeries. Throughout most of it my husband was caring for his dying father. I tried the “stiff upper lip” approach for a while and I was miserable. The Lord kept telling me that we are one body of Christ as a community of believers. We were not each one of us individually a self-sufficient body of Christ. As my doctors would suspect one organ to be the culprit of my illness, I would hone in on that organ and learn all I could about it off the Web. The Lord kept showing me that each organ has its own function and is important in its own way. For a time, the doctors thought I might have pancreatic cancer, as they saw a mass in the pancreatic tail (who knew there was a “tail” on our pancreas?). Well, in my research, I found that if you have cancer there, then you might as well pack your bags for Heaven, because there isn’t much the doctors can do. The very well-hidden pancreas, which seems to have little function, is vital to our existence. And then, I thought, “How many people do I know in my life who are like the pancreas?” These people are the ones who intentionally keep themselves hidden from us, but they are most likely our prayer warriors, or those who show up to clean the church when no one is looking. They are vital to our existence, but we give them no heed. We don’t think that we need them, and yet without them we will no longer exist as we were intended to.

I have been learning through all of this that compassion is a two-way street—not a one-way street, like I had always thought. I thought I was responsible only for giving compassionate care to others. And finally, the Lord showed me clearly that if others did not ask for the help then I would have no one to give compassion to. And by making myself a self-sufficient island, I too was robbing others of giving compassionate care. I had so many friends who offered their time and energy—who wanted to be that arm of compassion—that listening ear—that shoulder to cry on. But I was stiff arming them by saying “no worries.” All because I didn’t want to burden them and yet they were screaming, “Burden me!”

Thankfully my hardened exterior started to crack and I let others in on my needs, my fears, my heartaches, and my frailties. And the most amazing thing happened—they all responded with love, care and prayers. That is how it is in community—we love and care for one another. We rally around those in need, if they will only let us in. We want others to burden us, because one day we know we will be asking to be a burden to them. And if we don’t make it a two-way street, then we will find ourselves as isolated islands realizing that making it “on your own” is a very depressing state of affairs.

We need each other. We long to care for each other. We are community. We all collectively are a body of Christ. We all have our part to play, which makes us vital to each other. Let’s go about the task of burdening each other!