To All the Executive Women Out There: Is It Worth It?

“My goodness, Sharon. You look so relaxed lately. What’s your secret?” As an early-retired corporate program director/manager, I have been told I look so refreshed, so calm, so happy. I suppose I should take this a compliment, but it has made me ask myself, “What did I look like while I was working in corporate America? Did I really wear the signs of my stress?”

I enjoyed my job and found it extremely rewarding. I managed a staff of approximately 50 integrated marketing communications employees and subcontractors. I had a certain degree of power, autonomy, and a strong network on a worldwide basis. I received kudos for my decisive, yet friendly, management style, and was well liked by my bosses, peers, and employees. I felt I was the picture of success … great career, fantastic salary, respect, and a little prestige. What more could a woman ask for, right?

Years earlier, in the corporation, a high-level executive demanded that all his service representatives master speed-reading. Even though their job was to repair equipment, this executive required them all to pass speed-reading tests. This silly demand cost the company thousands of wasted hours and dollars. After a year, the company found out the executive had a few “loose screws” and terminated the speed-reading initiative immediately.

I was reminded of that situation every day as other higher-level executives sent their edicts to the masses. Nonetheless, even though I voiced my opinion, I had no choice but to accept these initiatives and force them upon my staff. (I’m not crazy. I realize it’s career suicide to be considered insubordinate or negative. I had to pick my battles). I respected my immediate manager, but she, too, was at the mercy of executives who breathed the rarified air in New York headquarters and didn’t have a clue of what was happening in the trenches. It seemed as if the stress kept building. It wasn’t something that happened overnight. It was definitely the price I was paying for working in this environment. Was my stress worth the deepening lines on my face?

My salary was sweet, allowing my husband and me to live a very comfortable lifestyle. Did I mention he and I worked for the same company? Perhaps our salary was the trap that caused me to stay in a job that (unbeknownst to me) must have made me look haggard. The more money I made, the more money I spent. The more money I spent, the more I was dependent on my job to pay my bills.

Well, in 2003, my vice president announced he was out-sourcing my area to outside vendors. Although it was a big blow, especially to my team, I figured every curse has a blessing. I took three months to decompress, started my own company that focuses on my passions (etiquette and poker, but that’s another story), published two books, gained credibility by getting certified in etiquette training, joined Toastmasters and won speaking awards, and joined a few professional networking organizations. Now, I am a professional speaker with a growing following of businessmen and women who love to attend my seminars and workshops.

After I started down my new career path, I found myself with so much to do on a daily basis, I felt like I was still working full time. Yet, hearing, “Sharon, you look so relaxed,” kept haunting me. What was so different between my lifestyle in corporate America and having my own business that it affected my face so dramatically?

BAM! It hit me. I wasn’t stressed anymore. Sure, I was busy, but compared to my days climbing the corporate ladder, I was doing what I wanted to do—when I wanted to it. Stress is caused by the mental and physical response to overwhelming demands. I didn’t consider the demands overwhelming. I considered them to be dysfunctional, and, in some cases, absurd. Yet, day-by-day, week-by-week, month-by-month, year-by-year, I was a victim of this corporate insanity. In addition to evidently looking older than my years, I developed borderline high blood pressure. Ah, me. I didn’t realize it at the time, but this zany lifestyle was aging me; or at least aging my appearance. I had to ask myself, “Was it worth it?”

Being removed from my high-powered job was a blessing. My new life allows me to “smell the roses.” Sure the money is nowhere near what I was making in corporate America, but it’s okay because my face is no longer drawn and haggard, my blood pressure has gone down and I make the most out of every single day—without the pressure I used to bear.

My message to all executive women is to evaluate your life and your career. If you feel that power, money and prestige is worth negative physical manifestations, get your Botox injections and keep going. On the other hand, if you have passions that are unfulfilled, if you look in the mirror and don’t like the tire treads that are spreading across your face, if your blood pressure is rising to dangerous levels, ask yourself,

“Is it worth it?”

Executive Women’s Camp