Storms

This year has been a difficult one for me. I have some kind of illness that has gone undiagnosed for many months now. In our present day, we believe we can walk into the doctor’s office, hand them our list of symptoms, and then walk out with the right medications in order to cure us. We do not expect that we have to wait a long time to be healed. And yet, I have had to wait while getting poked and probed, tested with contrast and barium, and opened up to see what is lurking beneath my flesh.

Along the way I have been blessed with many friends who have offered words of encouragement. One such friend reminded me that Jesus walked through the storm on the way to the boat. The scripture text is told multiple times in the New Testament. A storm arises while the disciples are in a boat, and Jesus is on a mountaintop, praying. Jesus looks down from the mountain and sees the boat being swamped by the raging waves. He then walks down the mountain through the storm to the disciples. Jesus does not calm the storm first; he instead is in the storm with the disciples.

I started to put myself in the shoes of the disciples. The rain is coming down in heavy drops. The boat is being rocked back and forth. Water is coming in the boat at a rapid rate. The disciples are straining with the oars. The wind is taking them to places they do not wish to go. The boat is being beaten down and I am sure creaking loudly. The only good thing about the scene is that they have each other, but even that is probably eluding them. I am sure their only thought is “Where is Jesus?” They do not see that Jesus can see them and is surely praying for from the mountain top. They do not feel him. They cannot touch him. They feel abandoned. “Where did he go? Why isn’t he taking care of us?”

As day starts to dawn, Jesus walks down from the mountain and crosses the water toward them. As Jesus walks through the storm, He too is being pelted with the heavy drops hitting his face; the wind is trying to control his every movement and the waves are crashing up against him. And when he gets to the disciples, Jesus asks them a simple question, “why did you doubt?” Or, in other words, “Why did you doubt that I was with you? Why did you doubt that I would take care of you? Why did you doubt that I love you and care about your well-being? Look at me. I walked through the storm to come to you. I never left you. I was always here.”

As I think about the disciples, I realize how much I am like them. I ask Jesus why he doesn’t just calm the storm first. If he is praying on the mountaintop and seeing the trouble the disciples are in, then why doesn’t he just say “Peace! Be still!” from up there? But that is not how it is with Jesus. Jesus does not say anywhere in the Bible “I will calm all of your storms, every day will be a day of peace for you, and you will never strain your muscles.” What Jesus does say is “I will be with you. I will walk through the storms with you. I will give you each other in order to help lighten the load. Look around you and see your brothers and sisters in Christ straining with you. And even when you cannot see me, even when you doubt that I am looking at you, and even when you doubt I love you as much as I say I do, I am here.”

The storms will rage in our lives. It might feel like we are going to lose control. It may feel like it is only a matter of moments before we go under. We may feel that we have been abandoned. We may not see clearly that a day will come where we will have peace. But Jesus is there to extend his hand to us. And if we put our hand in his, and do not doubt, He will bring us peace. He will also bring people in our lives to “strain” with us, to be his hands of compassion, and to show us his love through their warm embrace. Often, we only think of our own straining, but I have come to realize there are so many friends who are in the boat with me. And all I have to do is say “I need you” and they are there. We are not alone in our storms. And I am glad I believe in the one who will walk hand in hand with me in the sunshine or the rain.